Life between the lines

Recently I have been thinking a lot how I sometimes, during my dark and low days, felt like I am wasting my life.

Let me explain…

Since 2020, my life to my recollection was rather tough. As I think it was to many people. A lot had happened since. Not just in my life, but in society. And here we are in 2024, healing and coming back to my “old self”. I put old self in quotes, because it is not really my old self. I changed. A lot. But I would say my sparkle is back. The joy. Being grateful for small things.

For those 4 years, I feel like I played a victim a lot. Making excuses. Not being able to fulfil my goals. Not being able to be consistent. Binge eating. Not sleeping regularly. Crying a lot. Being so angry. And other annoying things. I was blaming this and that. I was blaming people and circumstances.

But now here I am in 2024. 28 years old. And I realized that this whole time I was doing it to myself. I realized that only I can pick myself up. Only I can say no to all those bad things and start over. Of course, there are people on your journey that can support you or help you even with something, but most of the “work” is on us.

Am I angry or sad that I wasted all that time? No.

NOT AT ALL. 

Why? Because life is a journey, once it is beautiful, once it is horrible. Yes, we could say we waste that time, because we were not enjoying the time with loved ones our ourselves, but at the end it will all makes sense. Because the bad times will teach us so much. Not just about ourselves, but about world and life itself. And if that bad times makes you even better person, than it was not all waste, was it?

So please if you are right now in the bad place, or you struggle, believe when I say that the best days are yet to come. And one day it will all pass. Just don’t give up. Be grateful for everyday you wake up. Sometimes it will be hard. But that is the bittersweet taste of life.